what motherhood means to me right now

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It means…

feeling warm and fuzzy when she looks right at me.

feeling even better when she smiles. She smiles now!

having to tie back my hair before I hold her in my arms. She’s discovered pulling (hard) with her fingers.

watching her sleep and then realizing that she’s too still so, panicked, I stare at her closely to make sure she’s still breathing.

ignoring the old adage “sleep when she sleeps”. Because when she sleeps, that’s my time to get things done!

eating solely on paper plates because having to wash a ton of bottles and nipples a day is enough.

feeling defeated and frustrated when she’s incosolable during her fussy time.

giving her kisses first thing in the a.m. And when I change her. And when I feed her. And whenever I pick her up. And whenever I feel like it (which is all the time).

feeling somewhat sad that her coughs don’t sound as tiny as they did two weeks ago.

cheering her on when she gives a good burp.

thinking she’s the best and most beautiful baby I’ve ever laid eyes on.

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