the reason I haven’t blogged all that much recently

It all started with this.

preg test

And that’s when shit got real.

The last few months have been a whirlwind of emotions and pregnancy symptoms. I was up, down, nauseous, tired and then did it all over again the next day. It was exhausting. So much so that I didn’t have the energy to cook my own meals or stay up past 8:30pm, let alone blog. I can’t even tell you how I survived long work days. The whole time, I felt like I was in a fog.

But! I was and still am ecstatic. About the baby, not the symptoms.

For most of my life, I was content with the thought of never becoming a parent. It’s just not something I had strongly desired. I’d feel joy for other people when they gave birth to their kids, but I always thought, Meh, probably not for me. It wasn’t until very recently when I started thinking, Maybe I do want a kid…maybe. In time. Then Bebop happened (Bebop is the pet name we’ve given this little nugget growing in my belly) and that time was suddenly NOW. I honestly panicked when I saw those two pink lines on that test. After hyperventilating and pacing the house for a few minutes, I called my friend Jen who was the calm to my panicky, crying self. But after processing it, all I felt was happiness and excitement (mixed with a little bit of fear, of course). Bob, who had a much calmer reaction to the news when I told him the next day, feels exactly the same. After seeing our tiny Bebop’s hummingbird heart beat on the first ultrasound, it was love at first sight. Since then, I look forward to every appointment when I can see this little guy or girl’s progress. In the latest, I saw Bebop bouncing around and kicking like a little maniac. The doctor warned me, “I hope you have enough energy because this one looks like it’s going to be feisty!”

bebop at 13 weeks

 Bebop at 13 weeks ↑

So now I’m 16 weeks, which means I’m in my second trimester. I’m feeling much better now. I’m still easily fatigued, but the constant nausea and the food aversions are mostly gone which is a relief. After subsisting on cereal, popsicles, crackers, chocolate milk, grapefruit and pomegranates for months, it feels good to be cooking and eating healthy again. Although I’m still craving lots of chocolate milk and pepperoni these days.

It also feels good to finally get this out in the open. It was hard to keep it a secret, but it was important to both of us to tell all of our friends and family first. We told our parents in November and the rest of our family and friends on or right after Christmas.

At the end of this week, we get to find out the sex of our baby. Almost everyone we know says it’s a girl. If we’re basing it on most old wives’ tales like what I’m craving or how fast the baby’s heart is pumping, then sure I’m having a girl. Although I did the “key pick up” test and that told me I’m having a boy, so…who knows?  It’s also funny how some people will confidently ask me, “How’s that little girl doing in there?” But you know what? I can’t help but think it’s a boy. Wives’ tale or no, I’ve already started referring to him as “him”. Ha! I read somewhere that the mother’s guess turns out to be accurate in over 70% of cases. Either way, if it’s healthy then I’m happy. That’s all anyone really wants.

But it is fun to place to bets, isn’t it? I can’t wait to finally say, “It’s a ___!”


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