on the brain, these days

iced coffees

I’ve unknowingly been using a bb cream way too light for my skin and have been sporting the two-tone look for the past couple of days. You know, the one where your face is different color from your neck? Yep.

I’m very sensitive and this week at work was proof of it. An email came back to me from someone in another department, basically accusing me of making mountains out of mole hills and being too “anxious” for information that I needed from her. I took it very personally, more than I should have. For hours, our slightly heated exchange had me overanalyzing and thinking all sorts of things like, what could I have said/done differently to avoid this? Why was I so misunderstood when I deliberately chose my words so as not to come off rude or demanding? Why would she even write that? I was so bothered! Not to mention, totally consumed by it. About 24 hours later (yes, 24 hours!), I told myself, Okay. It’s time to let this go. And now I feel completely silly over it. Nothing like a few days’ time to give you perspective.

As I was walking up the stairs in the subway station, a guy ran up next to me and shouted, “I’ll race ya!”. After I let him race himself to the top, he said, “Oh well, next time!” Since then, I’ve seen him every day on my train, and every day he walks past with HUGE grin on his face and says “good morning!”. A part of me thinks, eh we’re saying hi now? And another part of me thinks it’s pretty admirable he’s so chipper at 7am.

Is it the weekend yet? Because I really need it to be.

8 responses to “on the brain, these days”

  1. rooth says:

    Hah, that is way more energy than I have at 7 am in the morning.. next time race him and beat him :) And letting go of frustrating situations is REALLY tough and it’s difficult not to take things personally. I’m proud of you for being able to let it go after 24 hours and not continue to let it get under your skin

    • Jillian says:

      Thanks Rooth! Yeah, it’s pretty crazy how offhand comments can just ruin your day. After a while of it eating at you, it’s like, okay let’s be done with this now. I’m sure it will be completely forgotten by next week. Isn’t that the way it usually works?

  2. ashley says:

    Pretty sure that guys is trying to flirt with you. You should shout back, “My BOYFRIEND says good morning!”
    Oh and I do the same exact thing with overanalyzing a conflict. In fact, it’s impressive that you eventually let it go. It takes me forever!

    • Jillian says:

      Hahah! Yes, that wouldn’t be too obvious, would it? And trust me, I’ve spent more time worrying about things that are so insignificant! It was a miracle I could let it go so soon.

  3. Lena says:

    I hate when office drama gets you so worked up–but a little perspective is usually the cure to the situation. Happy Thursday, and thank goodness the weekend’s close!

  4. I love this. SO have been there before..stewing over something..and then realising how silly I was being. I probably just needed a good sweaty run, and a good sleep. AND I love your train friend, how fabulous is that?

  5. colleen says:

    haha – that guy sounds kind of amazing. i’m sorry about work…i find that as i’ve been critiqued more, in all sorts of ways, i.e. some people are better at giving criticism than others, my response has gotten better. it still makes you question your work, what you need to do better, what you think they are wrong about, etc., but you stop taking it personally. in one of my first internships i was taken aside for a talk, and the person who gave it was very nice, but i blinked back tears. now, i listen, i decide what’s bullshit and what’s constructive, and i move on with my life and work at getting better at my job. and it sounds like after 24 hours you did a good job of picking yourself up, shutting the door on the confrontation, and moving on. the other person on the other end of the conversation doesn’t sound like the best communicator, and hopefully next time you can weasel out what matters and what doesn’t, and not let it effect you as much. and, have a good glass of wine this weekend. you deserve it – work can be exhausting in general, when it emotionally effects you it’s even more draining. so enjoy yourself this weekend!

    • Jillian says:

      Thanks Colleen! Yes. Generally, I think I need to improve on the “not giving a shit” portion of work. I do take constructive criticisms very seriously, especially if said in the right way. But this woman…I don’t know….she just didn’t get it. There was some kind of disconnect or miscommunication and that was both of our faults, I believe. That said, I still couldn’t help but to take it personally for some reason! Some part of me says, “It’s not that serious. It’s just work. It can be fixed”. But another part feels like it’s the end of the world if someone gives me a bad critique! Something I need to work, for sure.

      Oh and you better believe I had a good glass of red this weekend! Hope you had a good weekend too. You seem so busy these days!

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