my cooking disasters

In the time that I’ve been blogging, I’ve experimented with quite a few recipes.  Some have resulted in masterpieces (hello nutella brownies!), while others…fell short. And that’s what this post is about.  The failures, or rather less harshly, the scenes from the cutting room floor.

Eggy Chocolate Mousse
Chocolate mousse is one of my favorite desserts.  And it’s managed to stay a favorite even though I messed it up royally.  The taste was so-so.  The texture? Imagine eating an egg yolk…raw.  That’s what it felt like.
 Boo-Hoo Brownies
Brownies are my thang!  Brownies and I are like this (crossing my fingers, in case you don’t get what “this” means).  But one day, me and brownies did not get along.  It was the day that I decided to let caramel come between us.  I thought I could pull an Olivia and make some epic salted caramel brownies.  But something went wrong.  The caramel hardened within the brownie and I ended up with a brownie that was too hard to bite into. I call them boo-hoo brownies because I cried a little on the inside when they didn’t turn out magical.  On another note, hope is not lost because I will attempt these again.

 Knock-Your-Eye-Out Caramels
And speaking of which, there was some leftover caramel that I thought I could salvage.  Wrong! If I tossed one of these at you, it would be the equivalent of throwing a piece of brick in your face.  Also, I kind of od’ed on the sea salt.  Oops.
 Crispy-Crunchy (read: Burnt) Chips
I had high hopes for salami chips.  Partly because the recipe came from Everyday with Rachael Ray and partly because I’ve had such success with kale chips that I thought I’d enjoy these just as much.  But these were left in the oven for a bit too long.  So they came out tasting like burnt, dry pepperoni.  Although, I’m not so sure I would have liked them even of I had taken them out 5 minutes sooner.  And the mustard-thyme sauce that they recommend with this didn’t excite me either.

So there you have it.   Things don’t always go as planned in the kitchen, but I can honestly say that I learned from each and every one of my mistakes.  And didn’t Mickey Rooney say, “You always pass failure on your way to success”?

Now, any cooking disasters of your own?

-jillian m.

27 responses to “my cooking disasters”

  1. Monica {bohemian twilight} says:

    lol, that was funny.
    i have these when it comes to baking. i'm a self-confessed haphazard baker.
    despite the laughs, i'm also crying a little inside for the loss of chocolate… and caramel. boohoo indeed.

    you and me girl, we could have a great cafe get-together, coffee/chai and brownies.

  2. colleen says:

    haha i loved this. and we all have them. one time i tried to make chocolate lava cake and those darned things just would not make. seriously, left them in the oven for 2 hours. finally we just had warm chocolate soup for dessert.

  3. Ana Degenaar says:

    Oh man! That last photo is tickling my kiddie tooth. I was a peperoni eating machine when I was a kid. Such great memories :) – I have a bucketful of disasters to count and Mickey Rooney was a genius, so true.

  4. jillian m. says:

    Monica, yes! Coffee and brownies–sounds charming and so yummy!

    Colleen, that reminds me of that scene in Bridget Jones where they're eating the blue soup. Haha!

    Ana, I love pepperroni too, but this was just…I don't even know. Bad!

  5. Pink Ronnie says:

    Haha, I have a billion cooking/baking disaster stories. I am awful in the kitchen, hence why Rick cooks (and bakes). In fact, when I was trying to woo my man, I decided to bake him some chocolate cookies to bring with him on an overseas trip. I baked 60 cookies and only 9 were unburnt. I wrapped them up real nice with lots of tissue paper at the bottom to disguise the fact that it was only 9 small cookies. Then I gave him the rest in cling wrap….
    Ronnie xo
    (You know, the chips in that last photo actually look very appetising…)

  6. sherri lynn says:

    At least all of your cooking disasters LOOK good! I've had a terrible time with caramel as well. I wasted 3+ hours trying to make caramel for a caramel frosting recipe…major fail. I also once made a meatloaf that had all these extras in it (like homemade bread and bacon) and it took me a while to put together and I was SO excited about it. My husband didn't like it and I threw it away. I cried. It happens.

  7. jillian m. says:

    Ronnie, aww that is so sad! I've since learned to make small batches when it comes to trying something new. Like you, I learned that the hard way.

    Sherri Lynn, caramel is so so tricky. But I'm determined to get it right next time. That really sucks about the meatloaf! It's tough when you put your heart and soul into a dish that no one likes.

  8. Hannah {Culture Connoisseur} says:

    Haha. It happens to the best of us! I once made a pear upside down cake in a spring form pan and the Carmel leaked out the bottom the whole time and solidified on the bottom of my oven like hard lollipop candy.

  9. Carol {Everyday Delights} says:

    The first time I tried making the simple buttercream frosting I used regular sugar instead of powdered sugar. It was like wet sand and a total disaster!!

  10. jillian m. says:

    Carol, that sounds like something I would do! Thanks for sharing that actually. I didn't know you couldn't use regular sugar to make frostings. I'll remember that!

  11. jillian m. says:

    Hannah, that must have been a pain to clean! It seems like almost everyone has had a caramel disaster!

  12. Leslie *Fresh Out of Lemons* says:

    Ha, at least you try! And caramel is just a trick of getting to the right temperature. You may have crossed over to toffee, but with a little practice, I'm sure you'll perfect some sweet treats. :)

  13. Indie.Tea says:

    O yeah, especially in my temporary apartment, in which the oven will not turn on unless I have it at 450 or higher – not good for baking at ALL. Which means burnt shortbread, which sucks 'cause I love shortbread…

  14. Aquí says:

    well jillian, for being cooking flops, you sure make them look good! They all look scrumptious. I always get sooo upset when my little cooking adventures don't turn out. Mostly because I've been thinking about them turing out perfect for days, plan and buy all the ingredients.

  15. Anait says:

    this is too funny, though I agree with Aqui – for cooking flops, they look pretty darn edible to me 😉 I say try those salted caramel brownies again! Because I know you will succeed this time….and mostly because I need you to tell me what the trick is because I've been wanting to make them for ages.

    Oh, and re: France….I do speak french fluently, but if you don't, absolutely go to France anyways! Don't let a language barrier stop you because I KNOW you will love it. go go go! (and take me with you?) 😉

  16. Caroline says:

    OH you just wait and see the cake I am going to post on Friday hahaha I know you will appreciate the disaster of a mess I made!! XO lady sending you hugs!

  17. Kristin says:

    I've struggled a time or ten with homemade pancake batter!

  18. la petite coquine says:

    I think anyone who cooks often has had a disaster or two-I once flipped a grilled cheese…without the top piece of bread! Ouch…

  19. emily says:

    it's a running joke at my work that my sister has promised to bring these cheddar chive biscuits every year to the christmas party & one thing always ends up going epically wrong… my favorite was when she forgot the baking soda!

  20. Sam {fitnessfoodandfaith.blogspot.com} says:

    i've had plenty of kitchen fails! most of them seem to have to do with shrimp. tricky little guys!!

  21. Erin Lian says:

    Oh man I am constantly having cooking disasters! My disasters looks a bit more horrific than yours though, yours still look tasty!
    <3

  22. Michelle's Style File says:

    Great post, not many people share the things that don't turn out perfect. Mind you these still look pretty good to me!

    x
    Michelle
    http://www.michellesstylefile.blogspot.com

  23. Radiant Make Up says:

    I love the idea of the caramel brownies but it's weird it hardened – definately going to try and do something similar :)
    the diea of brownies and caramel together just has to work somehow!! x

  24. Bad Joan says:

    Can you really OD on sea salt?

    GTBB,
    http://badjoan.com
    http://badjoan.blogspot.com

  25. Lauren says:

    i think the main disaster i always do is underestimate the size pot i need and then have some sort of sweet/sticky mixture boil over and ten harden on the stovetop haha

  26. hellotampon says:

    I once tried to make candied oranges and ended up with some sad orange slices stuck in a giant puddle of gummy syrup. It was disgusting and one hell of a mess to clean up. Another time I made a pie and left it in the oven when it was done. This was right before finals week or something so I was too busy studying and preparing for Christmas to cook and when I went to use the oven a week or 2 later I turned it on and smelled a horrible smell. It was the forgotten pie, which had gone moldy and was now cooking a second time. Blech!

  27. Janey R. says:

    awww.. those "knock your eye out caramels" look like they would've been yummy!! LOL… i love the "reject" names you gave them.. 😉

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